Jennifer Lopez: ‘I’ve been hiding a part of myself for so many years’

Jennifer Lopez joins Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1 to celebrate the release of her latest single, “Cant Get Enough”. Fresh from her recent Golden Globes appearance with husband Ben Affleck, Lopez gives Zane a detailed explanation of her process developing the album, particularly how much thought, care, and authenticity went into its development and its accompanying movie.

Lopez also exclusively touches on the recent viral video with Brie Larson giving her “her flowers” on the red carpet of this past Sunday’s Golden Globes awards ceremony.

Additional topics include, bringing the songs to the stage to perform and whether there will be a tour; where Lopez was 20 years ago and how it is relevant to her being exactly where she’s supposed to be now, and the importance of timing for this project.

Jennifer Lopez on her upcoming project and how it came to be…

It feels like it’s been like 22 years in the making, honestly, because we announced it on the 20th anniversary that of the This Is Me Then album that we do. This is Me Now album, and to have an album and a movie and everything else that’s coming along with it and for the actual single, the first piece of music to be released today with the video is so exciting.

On the sound and vibe of her upcoming album feeling authentic and her new single…

[It feels like] authentic rhythms and melodies and more than anything, a feeling in the music, and I think that’s what a lot of people who heard the album in its early days were feeling, they were like, “There’s something true about this.” There’s something that feels gritty and honest and raw and real and vulnerable and brave about this music from all of these people, not just from me.I love it. I feel like “Can’t Get Enough” is a perfect way to kind of come out of the box with this one because it does have that like my performance energy.

On bringing these new songs to the stage, preparing to perform them, and whether there will be a tour…

I kept telling my team, I was like, “You have to understand, I’m going to perform these songs. I’m going to bring them to life on stage, and it needs to be down in the ground. We got to dig,” and they understood it and they gave it to me, and we just had the best time playing around with these in the studio for those couple of months it took us to do this whole record.

I really want to [to tour]. I think that of all of the albums and of all the projects that I’ve done, some shows that I’m super, super proud of, but I believe that there’s nothing that’s more suited to being live and having a live experience than this record. I don’t have any official kind of, this is it right now, but I am very keen to get out there and perform this music for sure.

On the viral video of Brie Larson giving Jennifer Lopez her flowers…

It brings tears to my eyes now because it’s very moving, because you do, you give your heart and soul to this when you’re an artist, and I think you know that and understand that to have somebody … I remember being a little girl and watching “West Side Story” and seeing Rita Moreno and knowing what that meant for me. When I was looking at Brie and I saw her and I was just staring in her eyes because she was so locked in with me and just like, “I have wanted to tell you this for so long.”

I saw myself, I saw myself and I saw the little girl, and to think that I did that for somebody was really, really overwhelming. I could have really taken a moment there, but it was very lovely to have an experience like that. I don’t think I ever imagined that I would have an experience like that with somebody who is so talented and who I watch their movies and who I, is kind of in a way, my contemporary, even to feel that way and to express that and to be so kind to express it too. It was a very kind thing that she did, and it meant a lot to me, probably even more than it did to her.

On working behind the scenes to prepare everything to come out and finding the right timing…

[I’ve been working on the project] for two years, I mean, I had the album all done when I announced it a year ago. It just took that long to get everything perfect and right and to make the movie. I came up with the idea for the movie after the music was made. I was like, “Okay, there’s something really special to be said here along with this story,” and there’s also the journey that I’ve been on all this time, and I wanted to share all of those things with this project because it really is a culmination of a whole life in a way.

It wasn’t planned. That’s the whole thing, right? I was like, oh, and then in 20 years I’m going to make the This Is Me Now album.” You know what I mean? I had no idea even when I was naming it, This Is Me Then, that it would be such a profound thing so much later that it would have this destiny to it that would happen. That honestly for me, was a miracle that came out of the blue, but when it did, it so naturally kind of poured out of me to go back and make an album because really I didn’t think about, “Oh, I’m going to make This Is Me Now album.” I was like, I’m just inspired to make music again in a way that I did when I first fell in love in that way and then from there it was like, “Okay, now I’m reflecting on what happened then and what happened now and how everything in between informed that and got me here and oh my God, this is crazy.”

I think is going to be a beautiful message I hope for the world and for everybody.

On where she was then (20 years ago)…

The funny thing is, 20 years ago, people thought that I was oversharing as far as my personal life went, and so I kind of shut down and got very, very much more private, even though people knew who I was with and kind of assumed what was happening. I was always very quiet about what was truly the truth going on in my life. It wasn’t until now where I had gone through so many different things and really done some work on myself and really did heal some parts of myself to get to a point where I could welcome in something that was healthy and truly loving. Was I able to kind of feel safe enough to go, “Oh, I’ve been hiding a part of myself for so many years.” It’s not that I haven’t just been being honest with everybody else, I haven’t been being honest with myself. I was digging into that as I was celebrating this incredible second chance and writing this music out of love and joy and happiness, and then it was like, but wow, what it took to get there.

You cannot be ready for something I’ve learned in life. You cannot be ready for something. You wish you were. You don’t understand what’s happening. It’s all falling apart, and you’re like, “Wait a minute. What’s going on?” Then you have to live a little and go through things and figure yourself out. The only way you can do that is by really digging deep and taking a cold hard look at yourself and your patterns and the things that you do, and then maybe you can get to a point where you have moments where you’re like, “Oh, oh, I get that. Oh, I was doing that. Oh, I needed to grow in this way. I needed to do that.” It kind of all comes together. When you then get to another point in your life where you’re like, something really beautiful happens to you, are you able to go back and look at the things that were more challenging and more the growth moments?